Too Much Sugar, Not Enough Nice–Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice
When I hear the words “Pumpkin Spice Latte,” a few things come to mind. Among them are fall, Tumblr girls (think 2012’s equivalent of today’s VSCO girl), memes, and the term “basic.” After years of seeing pictures of people in scarves, surrounded by highly saturated foliage, holding out their lattes in that iconic white and green cup, I finally decided to swallow my pride and try the drink myself. After all, how could I judge a drink I had never tried? While I was at it, I thought it would only be sensible to try the rest of Starbucks’ autumnal drinks, in case the PSL didn’t strike my fancy (spoiler alert: it didn’t). Here is my ranking of the four drinks I tried.
The Procedure:
I ordered all four beverages with whipped cream, in order to keep as many variables constant as possible. Also, I like whipped cream.
I drank water in between each taste test to ensure my palate was neutral and uncontaminated.
The Results:
1. Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew — 7/10
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Ok, I decided to go from best to worst because I was feeling nice. This Cold Brew was actually really good. It smelled like cinnamon, and the pumpkin cream sweetened the coffee just enough so that it was enjoyable to drink, but not so much that it was sickly. The pumpkin flavor was extremely faint (a trend you will see throughout this ranking) but overall it was a highly palatable drink.
2. Caramel Apple Spice — 6.5/10
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Second best was this warm drink. It has a slightly buttery consistency that is quite comforting; it brings to mind the coziness of coming home after a nice fall day of apple-picking. I mean, I’ve never been apple-picking, but that’s definitely accurate. I’m also fairly convinced this drink is just warmed up apple juice that has been thickened a bit, but it’s still good.
3. Pumpkin Spice Hot Chocolate— 5/10
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This was just a regular hot chocolate. There was no pumpkin flavor at all, and it wasn’t even that hot. But as far as plain hot chocolate goes, this one was not terrible.
4. Pumpkin Spice Latte — 2/10
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I really tried to give it a fair shot, but no. It was very sugary and strangely acidic, with a strong but unidentifiable artificial flavor to it— maybe it’s the actual Pumpkin Spice that didn’t come through in the Cold Brew or the hot chocolate. As my friend eloquently phrased it, “With [the PSL at] ‘Starbs’ you think it’s gonna be good, and it almost is, but then it tastes like, idk, chemicals.”
…or not
