Are You Ready Kids? The Collab That Nobody Needed

Nov 7

Nov 7 Are You Ready Kids? The Collab That Nobody Needed

Apart from my biased opinion that basketball shoes should remain on the court, at first sight, the Kyrie 5 “SpongeBob” looks like it should only come in children’s sizes – but no, the collab is marketed towards adults.

When SpongeBob comes to mind (which is rarely), it isn’t about the shows aesthetic appeal (as it doesn’t exist) but SpongeBob’s horrific laugh, the uncomfortable live-action sequences, and that annoying song about friendship. I can hear his laugh while staring at that wiggly Nike swoosh.

SpongeBob is a show to watch when there is nothing good on Disney Channel and is about as far as you can get from aesthetically pleasing. The colors are overwhelmingly vivid, as seen on these shoes, to a point that they will hurt your eyes if you stare for too long. If you are going to make yellow sneakers, at least make them a nice mustard-y color!

Plus, I can’t imagine anything scarier than taking off your shoes to see SpongeBob’s face staring back at you from where your feet should be. These are the shoes that nightmares are made of.

I really appreciate the effort put into designing these shoes, but I think that they missed the mark. If you’re looking for a good childhood throwback sneaker collaboration, the Diadora x Peanuts high-tops are adorable and not for basketball.